Well well well... who knew this was how I'd actually find my match? - kidding.
So Halloween's around the corner and I'm pretty psyched to share this with you guys.
Did an ad for Bumble app. Representing all the kids out there who like to get creative on Hallow's eve!
On that note, dating is hard. It was a pretty genius idea that someone had made it easier to find people their match. I mean, I'm constantly at work but it varies every day so much so that I can barely get to even learn everyone's name. So getting to know someone through work is a myth for me.
It's not like I work a 9-5 that would have got me stuck hanging out with the same people for a large portion of my day- every day. That's more than enough time for Deren Brown to convince a blind man he can see.
I've had a few people talk about how they met their long term partner or spouse and it's really not that weird for it to be through an online dating app anymore. There are many upsides to it however the darker side sometimes outweighs it for some.
The harder part to admit about it is that no one wants to feel unwanted even online where everyone can hide behind filters and funny captions. I had a friend who deleted a dating app because she didn't have a match within 5 hours. 5 hours?! Some people literally wait a lifetime for 'the one'.
To be fair I wasn't really going to be the one to tell her that maybe the choices of photographs she chose were not the kind that screamed 'date me' more like 'look how much make-up I'm plastered in from a photoshoot so I'm obviously a model'. Which - I can only assume- doesn't scream date me, it just sounds like you might be a catfish.
The online world is like a permanent universe of Halloween state. Most people are hiding behind a mask and unveiling what's underneath is sometimes frightening- thank you, Nev, from Catfish. It's also the kind of space that so vast you'd hope there's an immediate response to your cries within the two minutes you decide you want to exist there. And if that cry goes unanswered, you retrieve into your shell of self-doubt.
Most won't admit to this because we carry a certain level of pride- which loosely translates to 'I don't care what other people think'. Except they do and it's just a bitter pill to shove down a dry throat, parched for attention.
I read in 'In the miso soup' by Ryu Murakami that 'people need to feel they're of some value to go on living' this resonated with me. I'd been labouring under the delusion that I indeed do not care when the reality is that I do care. There are values I've ignored especially when it came to dating because of pride.
My misguided history deluded me into thinking 'being independent means being detached' which I don't entirely believe anymore. Independence shouldn't detach you from developing relationships. Even suit wankers know that it's important to develop relationships in business. It should really just allow you to feel comfortable within yourself -knowing you have great things to offer - and better with company.
Dating online maybe should require three important things kinda like what you'd need to get a visa in case Brexit's not in your favour.
1. Honesty in what you're -personally- after. May it be adoring men to tell you you're pretty, quick hook-up or a relationship. If the potential partner you 'meet' doesn't fall into what you want then it might be a waste of time and heartache.
2. Never misplace your personal value at the hands of 'likes' or 'matches' you get. The internet is so vast you don't need 30 'The ones' you just need the patience to find 'Your one'
3. It's a two-way street. If you're being an asshole to your dates, you're just going to attract other assholes. Weird universe thing maybe? prove me wrong.